Thanks For Sharing, But I Wish You Hadn't!

How much can we share with our friends, and how do we know if what we're discussing is share-able?  I struggle with this topic; when I feel close to a friend, I open up and share various things.  Some may consider it “TMI” (too much information), while others may not think twice.  But when is it really TMI?  

There are the “safe” topics with friends, such as discussing non personal things: what we like to eat, what movies we like to watch and/or where our favorite place is to vacation.  Then there’s the personal topics that require the friendship to be at a certain level so that you both feel comfortable discussing these sensitive things.  But how do you know if it’s okay to share?  Sometimes we cross the line and not realize it because our friend is embarrassed to speak up since it may be too awkward to even address.  

Oftentimes, I’ve walked away from a conversation thinking, “I can’t believe she told me that!”  Not that my friend said something horrific, but because of how personal the subject was and the ease of the statement.  Imagine your friend tells you she’s having an affair in a nonchalant way – as if she were describing her grandmother’s curtains.  Or your friend tells you about her romantic relations and starts going into descriptive detail.  Some of you may have preferred never being told because now you can’t shake that image and can’t look at her partner without turning red.  Thanks, Friend.

I’ve also walked away from conversations berating myself for opening my mouth.  Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the conversation that we begin to “Me too!” or “OMG, when this happened…” and then we find ourselves sharing stuff we never thought we would.  Oops!  

Think about what information you share with your friends.  Are there friends with whom you share more or less?  Is it dependent on the nature of the friendship and how long you’ve known the person?  Have you had moments of regret?

Maybe it’s time to purchase that diary…