Ever since the book came out, I've received feedback about how it's made women think about friendships throughout their lives, as well as who is in their lives now. The goal of this blog is to open up and create a dialogue about friendships: the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Each week I will post my thoughts, experiences, as well as various articles, topics or quotes that I feel are important when examining female friendships. Please feel free to leave comments; I look forward to hearing from you!
Email me: firstname.lastname@example.org
Monday, December 24, 2012
Monday, December 17, 2012
However, I have a couple of friends with whom the friendship deepened with distance; it's because we both put in the time and effort to keep up with one another, and to make sure we're including one another the best we can. Is it difficult? Yes. But I wouldn't have it any other way because these friendships mean the world to me and I could not imagine my life without these people in it.
It definitely takes a certain person to maintain a long-distance friendship: you have to enjoy e-mailing, texting, Skyping and/or talking on the phone. Some people I know dislike talking on the phone, so that may prove difficult for those who don't have other options. You also have to be okay with not knowing every detail of your friend's life, such that you're most likely not involved in the day to day things because that would be extremely time consuming and difficult to explain - for example, have you tried telling someone a story who wasn't there and she doesn't get it? It's one of those, "You had to have been there to understand!" type of stories that are challenging to share with someone who clearly wasn't there.
On the other hand, some of you enjoy long-distance friendships because when you do talk, you are able to re-connect and get caught up on each other's lives. And it can feel great to have those positive moments with a friend when your world is feeling a little upside down. It truly depends on the type of person you are and how you maintain your friendships, both around you and from afar.
What's been your experience with long-distance friendships? Have they been positive, negative or both?
Monday, December 10, 2012
UCLA Study on Friendship Among Women by Gale Berkowitz
What are your thoughts? Do you agree with the findings?
Monday, December 3, 2012
Did you ever see Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion? Below is the trailer:
I remember watching this movie in early adolescence - it was funny, yet it also led me to wonder about my own high school reunion. Unfortunately, I was not able to attend my 10 year high school reunion - the following morning, I left for a hiking trip at the Grand Canyon. However, I'll be honest and say that a part of me had no interest in going. Yes, I said it.
The whole idea of reunions is an interesting topic, especially how it relates to female friendships. Reunions can trigger old feelings (good, bad and downright ugly) from earlier years. We feel as if we have to show our "best" selves and seem we're doing amazing, even if that's not really true. Maybe we weren't in the popular crowd, and so we have some feelings about running into certain people who made our life horrible during those awkward adolescent years. We may even prepare in extreme ways for the reunion by dieting, working out and/or getting a makeover (see above movie). It is one night of our life, but can cause some major anxiety and fears.
I didn't have much desire to attend my high school reunion due to feeling it wouldn't provide any real purpose for me, especially since I do not live in that state nor remain close with anyone from high school. Thus, it didn't feel worth the time and money to fly back to the east coast for one night where there would probably be superficial conversation and uncomfortable silence. But that's me, and I realize not all of you feel this way. Although, since the book came out, I've re-connected with one friend from high school (I wrote about her in the book), so that's been a positive outcome.
Some people enjoy seeing where their classmates are living and what they're up to; the purpose is to get caught up with everyone. However, I think high school reunions are similar to Facebook - you get updates but nothing really happens past that. If you don't keep in touch with those from high school and don't live in the same state, it's hard to maintain a friendship that you haven't for the past 10 or so years. Maybe you disagree.
For those of you who have kept in touch with your friends from high school, then my guess is that you're planning on or already have attended your high school reunion. It'll probably be more fun for you and have a greater purpose since there's a connection with the people there.
Did you attend your high school reunion? Was it what you imagined or completely different? Did you leave feeling closer to anyone?
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Monday, November 19, 2012
Monday, November 12, 2012
For example, a defining moment in one of my friendships was when a friend shared some of her personal experiences that were painful and heartbreaking. The fact that this friend felt comfortable enough to share her story with me only reinforced the deep bond of our friendship.
Think about your closest friends - what was the defining moment in which you realized this friend is a keeper? Was it a crisis that one of you experienced that brought you together or was it a shared experience?
Monday, November 5, 2012
Monday, October 29, 2012
Okay, moving on...
At the end of the episode, there was a small interaction that required me to rewind the DVR about 3 times to make sure I wrote it down correctly:
Jess: "Do you think if we met today, we would still be friends?"
Cece: "I don't know, but we're friends now."
Jess and Cece have been friends since childhood, and as they get older, Jess feels as though they may be going in different directions. Cece is a model and Jess is currently unemployed and trying to find her way. The show does a great job at looking at friendships in the present day, yet also brings up the question: if you met your BFF today, would the friendship work? I went to sleep that night thinking about many of my friendships and wondered if I met them today, we would "hit it off"? For some friendships, I wasn't so sure.
Would you still be friends with those around you if you met today? Do you wonder about some of your friendships and why/how you're still friends?
Monday, October 22, 2012
When it comes to your friendships, does the upcoming election become a source of topic or one that you avoid at all costs due to differing opinions? How has politics affected your friendships?
Monday, October 15, 2012
Every October during my dancing days, I'd participate in the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk and then perform at the Hatch Shell in Boston with my dance group. It was a very meaningful day - even in my youth, I knew it was a disease that affected many people. Each year, I felt such an honor to perform on that day; it wasn't just any performance, it was one that had a significant amount of emotion for those in the audience - emotions different than those felt during other performances.
As I grow older, I am even more aware of this disease, and it's impact on those around me.
What does this month mean to you when it comes to breast cancer? Have you or a friend experienced the disease in some way? If so, how did you and your friends manage the news?